My Spy: The Eternal City

Released in July 2024, My Spy tells the story of JJ(Dave Bautista), who is no longer into field work. He’s trying to stay off the radar and enjoy a peaceful life in North Virginia as a father figure to Sophie(Chloe Coleman), who is now a teenager, and of course, grumpy, while Sophie’s mom is somewhere else for work. JJ is trying to regain the bond, which he thinks is thinning, with Sophie, so when he gets the chance to chaperone Sophie’s school choir on a trip to Italy, he takes it. But the stakes go higher, as he is forced to leave the peaceable life he so craved when Collin, his boss’ son who was left in his care is kidnapped by a terrorist group.

So, I don’t want to have too many words on the subject, so I’ll start from wherever I can. This movie was too silly for adults and way too grown up and intense for kids. I’m not sure if it’s because Sophie is a teenager now, but the sexual jokes were way too crude for this to be family-oriented, and I kept thinking to myself, “Who exactly is the target audience?” Certainly not those below 18, or even above it. The humour just wasn’t it on all levels and just fell flat for me. I enjoy Ken Jeong’s movies and his humour was alright, but him as the boss is not just it.

Bautista as well has the build for these kinds of movies, but not exactly the acting skill, perhaps? I don’t know, guys, his acting just falls way too flat for me, and the chemistry his character had with Sophie in My Spy of 2020, while still there, is not just as great. It also has the typical John Hughes hallmark of the girl crushing on some jock while her male best friend is secretly crushing on her, and then she realizes in the end that it was him all along. Quite an overused script, but even that would have been okay, if the characters had been developed well enough for us to even care who she ends up with.

“The Eternal City” has too much going on, and there’s this constant switch from violence to sentimentality that just messes things up for me. Whatever comic thrills I had been expecting, I was most certainly robbed off. But this movie was not altogether bad. The banter between Sophie and JJ towards the end was alright. And it’s the type of production you’d watch when you’re looking to pass time. Unfortunately, it still falls into the needless sequel list. Should have stopped at 2020, guys. But that’s alright. What do you think? Fair judgement?

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