Learning Endurance, Patience, and Self-Awareness Through 'Acrimony'

Due to the large collection of movies I’ve seen, selecting one movie out of the chunk for a specific award category like in the case of this post - the movie that has influenced me the most - is a daunting task!

Taking a minute to think about it, Acrimony surfaced on my mind the quickest, so even if that isn’t the one that has influenced my life the most, it definitely sits among one of them.

What makes this one stand out and deserving of this post is a very important lesson it taught me - Never Give Up!

The interesting thing is that the movie teaches not just one, but several lessons. And even each of the lessons can be interpreted in different ways.

Let’s get a very short overview of the movie before I get into the lessons and how they influenced me.

Overview

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The movie is about the life of Melinda who met her college love, Robert, in a situation that can be described as “from the movies”. Robert is a very smart and ambitious guy working on a prototype to develop a machine that would get him the deal of his life. After Melinda’s mom passes, she inherits about 350grand. She unfortunately gets caught up with Robert, a serial manipulator on whom a greater portion of the inheritance is spent. Melinda uses her inheritance to support Robert’s aspirations, going out of her way to spend extravagantly on him.

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Aside this, against Melinda’s family’s approval, the two get married, staying and suffering with him through the marriage until she’s almost 40. By this time, it looks as if Robert is a bum and nothing will come out of his efforts over the decades he’s dedicated to working on his prototype. So naturally, Melinda succumbs to pressure from her sisters, pulling the plug on their marriage and to kicking Robert out, a decision she will come to regret.

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Now, the lessons…

Never giving up

I’m talking about this lesson in the man’s perspective in this case. He’d been working on his invention for a good 15 years, failing a million times, and standing back up every time. I’m not sure many people have that much faith and are that hard working: to pour years of their life into a piece of work, dedicating their all to it, against failure and all odds of it.

The other interpretation of never give up can be seen in the POV of Melinda who stuck with him through all of his hardship and broke days, only to abort ship literally a day before he hit jackpot. In her perspective, never give up can be said to be due to a lack of patience. Which brings me to the second point.

The virtue of patience

Again, this is interpreted in both the men and women perspective. I don’t mean patience here in the sense of not being quick to anger. I mean it in the sense of waiting to see results.

Trust the process.

That was exactly what Robert did all the 15 years he was called names and shamed to be a loser by Melinda’s sisters and their husbands.

On Melinda’s part, her lack of patience at the end was what caused her to miss the moment she’d been sacrificing for the entire duration of her time with Robert and in their marriage. If she had just been a little bit more patient, not listen to her sisters who were in her ear, maybe things would’ve played out very differently.

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Handling and Dealing with manipulative people/partners

It is pretty clear Robert was very good at pulling Melinda’s strings to get what he wanted. He knew the right words to say and Act to get her to do what he wanted. Or in most cases, pay for what he wanted.

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When dealing with people like that in any sort of relationship, it’s important to develop a sense of self awareness immune to their gaslighting and manipulation. If Melinda had that, she wouldn’t have burnt through that $350,000 as fast and reckless as she did.

But it goes beyond the money. The emotional manipulation she faced at his hand can not be underscored.

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All of these combined, have taught me endurance and to keep going no matter how murky the path ahead may look, especially if I’ve already invested a lot of time and resources pursuing something. Maybe it’s a sank cost fallacy effect, but even if it is, as long as it makes me stay on my grind, I think it’s okay.

This might not always be a good thing though, because this movie could’ve ended very differently with Robert actually never making it. Life is not a movie, and sometimes despite our hard work and dedication, things just don’t work out. So it’s important to know when to give up too.

The movie has also taught me to build a very strong self awareness that is immune and resistant to manipulation. I am not completely immune to manipulation right now, but more often than not, I can sense manipulation from miles away when I see it. This helps me make calculated moves to fortify myself and take early action if I have to.

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Obviously, this is not the typical movie review, so if you haven’t watched this movie yet, chances are that you won’t really understand this post much. I would implore you to check the movie out though. It’s worth the time, trust me.

Honorable Mentions

3 idiots
Like stars on earth
Wolf of wall street

If you’re interested, you can check these movies out too. They offer some interesting perspectives to life.

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This post is based on one of today’s #marchinleo topics. Check this post to find out what the prompts for this month are, and how to participate. You stand a chance to win a free INLEO premium account by participating!!

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