30 Days of Night (film): Disappointing, skip it

It was some random list that popped up on my phone when I accidentally scrolled too many screens to the left. I believe the list was called something along the lines of "underappreciated horror films" and often, these lists, if compiled well, can contain some hidden gems.

Since I had never heard of this film and like the idea behind it, it was an easy one for me to get behind. I think this is part of the reason why I am actually a bit angry at this website that exists out there because I did in fact sit through all of it, even though there is so much in this film to loathe. I wish I could remember the name of the website so that I could be sure to avoid it in the future In the film there is a total lack of consistency in the baddies abilities and the time-lapse completely fails as we the audience, don't really get any sense of pressure from what is going on in the film.

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The film was released in 2007 and as far as the practical and special effects are concerned, it actually stands the test of time pretty well. The problem isn't that, the problem is that this is just a horrible script with annoying dialogue and some really stupid events that continue to occur as well as the "no way out" sort of sense that they are trying to convey, but don't make any real sense if you stop and think about it too much.

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Having vampires attack one of the most northern cities in the world that goes through 30 days of zero sunlight every year (I'm presuming this is true, I don't really have any idea but I do know it is a real city) is a pretty cool premise for vampires who as you know, are normally restricted to running around only at night and can do nothing during the day.

We are introduced to the attempt at an eerie atmosphere when a random guy that we have to presume is a resident, sees a gigantic ship off the coast and he just walks back to town and neither the man nor the ship is ever mentioned by anyone ever again.

Then we go through the "introduction phase" where we get to know all the main characters as they nail home the point that the city will truly be in the dark for 30 days and there are a bunch of people that are leaving on the last flight out of town before the sun sets. Good times.

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_{wow, that's pretty awesome... now let's never so much as mention it again for the next 90 minutes}

The vampires have chosen this town I guess because of the 30 days of night, and they have a wonderful plan before they decide to attack on night number 2. They take out the electrical grid (kind of) and also eliminate all mobile phone capabilities and land lines and it takes quite a while before anyone notices that this has happened. It takes too long actually and we are informed about this because some old lady was doing something online and she dotingly says "the computer stopped working" and she is the only person in town that uses the internet I guess because prior to that nobody had any idea.

The fact that a town this far north would have no power would obviously be very detrimental to the population because the absence of heat would freeze all of them to death pretty rapidly but don't worry, because the lights are on for the entire film because apparently everyone has 30 days of diesel sitting around for the generators that don't require any maintenance at all.

I'm kind of a stickler for things like this because it doesn't make sense. I don't need absolute realism in films because if i did there wouldn't be any vampires, but that's an entire other kettle of annoying fish as well.

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The vampires, as you would expect, are much faster than people are, much stronger, and also seem to want to be dressed up pretty nice but aren't overly concerned about the dried blood on their faces.

The extra strength is to be expected though, isn't it? It is ubiquitous in vamp-films and this isn't surprising. We also discover really early on that bullets don't work on them and this I suppose is also expected. But the problem lies in that the bullets don't have effect on them at the start, but later on, with no alteration at all to the armaments used, the bullets DO have an effect on them when the plot calls for it. There are a myriad of other inconsistencies that really irritates me. In one scene they are show as being faster than a police truck going full speed and a bit later on they are incapable of catching a man running down the street on foot despite the fact that many of them are pursuing him at once .

In one scene they can be seen jumping almost completely over houses and the next they end up getting hurt by fall damage off of a balcony.

Some people that are bitten and not killed just die, and other people change into vampires themselves and gradually take on vampiristic characteristics such as super-strength and bloodlust and others don't have this happen to them at all - in fact, some of them are made weaker by all of sudden becoming vampires.

Another inconsistency that disturbs me. The vampires have heightened senses as you would expect and their objective seems to be killing every single human in this town, yet these super killers really struggle to find all the people in the city and the residents despite the fact that the city has a population of a mere 3-digits as is indicated at the start of the film.

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This is not a huge place. The team of vampires could have quite easily gone door to door clearing out the places one-by-one in a single evening but they don't do this. Why? Don't know.

The group that remains chooses more and more places to hide that consist of attic (nobody ever suspects people hiding in the attic), a grocery store that has huge windows all the way around (make sure to lock the doors!), a diner that again, has windows all the way around, and just hanging out underneath a trailer because it is dark or something... i don't know.

The main stronghold that the group ends up going to at the end is a massive steel structure that should have been where they went at the start of the damn thing and it seems to be quite impenetrable except for this one secret ladder entrance underneath it that several of the humans actually enter the building by using it. Did they make sure to secure this trap door entrance? Of course not.

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A giant waste disposal grinder is shown to us at the start of the film and imagine my shock when this ends up being used later on. I never saw that coming!

There is also one massive plot hole that I just can't get past and they don't address it in the movie either because it would destroy the entire story (as if it wasn't dumb enough already.) They are meant to be a whole 80 miles away from another nearest town as we are told in the opening sequence yet no one, despite and abundance of vehicles including one that is equipped with a damn street-clearing snow plow, ever attempts to simply drive away from the city. This is clearly possible because we are taken out of town multiple times in the movie - yet it is never so much as attempted. Stupid.

This entire movie is built on insane coincidences and chance encounters as well as temporary suspension of certain abilities that were heavily pointed out just 20 minutes ago and this is so annoying to me that when the final battle (which is completely absurd and stupid) happened I was just happy that the word "final" was in that battle so I could turn my TV off and go to sleep.

Should I watch it?

Don't let that decently made trailer fool you, this movie friggin sucks. It managed to make it's money back but only just and I am surprised that something Sam Raimi was involved in ended up being this bad.

I didn't even touch base with all the things that made me upset about this movie, trust me, there is plenty more. The dialogue is stretched out well beyond how long it needs to be and of course all the people in this argue about the existence of Vampires and how that isn't possible. We also have several characters that are just completely incapable of being quiet when being quiet is essential. This manufactured tension is borderline infuriating and this thing seems like it was thrown together by 4 or 5 different directors, each of which had no idea what the others were doing.

It's slop and I wish I hadn't bothered to watch it at all.

_{This movie can be streamed for free almost anywhere including multiple services I have never heard of before today like "Pluto." It doesn't seem like anyone is bothering protecting the copyright of this film at all because it is even available in full form on YouTube. Do yourself a favor though and don't waste your time}