Abigail (film): I think the online %'s are rigged on this

This film isn't terrible. It has its merits in certain aspects of it but to achieve a rating of 84% when it really isn't very good just screams that they rigged the ratings.

When I see a horror film that is rated this high I get excited because while I do like horror as a genre, it does seem to be one of the most difficult ones for them to get right on screen. It is understandable why that can be because how do you make something scary without doing exactly the same things that have been done already hundreds of times before. This movie tries to be a gore-fest as well as have an interesting story and some quite big names in the film industry.

It's not terrible, but it definitely isn't 8/10 as the review sites would indicate.

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I went into this film knowing almost nothing about it other than the rating and that it popped up on my Plex server without me adding it. The poster above probably gives away more of the plot than it should but I suppose it doesn't really matter because the trailer gives that away as well. For me, going into it blind and not realizing the only really shocking part about the film's story was a benefit so I am on the fence about whether or not I want to give it away.

So here is the spoiler free synopsis: A group of elite criminals who do not know one another and are instructed to remain anonymous to all the others pull of an epic heist where they are kidnapping the child of an extremely wealthy person. The idea is that they bring the girl to a location and wait for the demand of the $50 million ransom to be paid. This is all that they know. They are instructed to not get to know anyone and to not exchange information so that if one of them are caught, they are incapable of spilling the beans to authorities or gangsters. This seems like a pretty interesting plot and I am down with it so far.

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You probably already recognize this guy, Giancarlo Esposito, who I have loved since Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. I think most of the rest of the world feels the same way. There are a couple of other people that you might recognize as well such as Justin Timberlake look-alike Angus Cloud, and Kevin Durand who I like to call "beefy Elon Musk."

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Things go according to plan but everything goes sideways when the crew suddenly finds themselves locked inside of this house and some sort of supernatural something or other threatens to kill all of them.

The film proceeds almost exactly like you would expect it would and the survivors, once again, are exactly who you would expect. There are no real surprises in this film except for the one that I am intentionally not giving away. The action is pretty decent, the gore is top drawer, but unfortunately the film is plagued with a terrible script and very generic characters.

The only way I can recommend this is if you are a big fan of gore-flicks. This one does a very good job of that and not much else. Take that as you will.

From this point forward there will be spoilers as I gripe about the problems that this movie has

So the big reveal happens with the girl, whose name is Abigail is being tended to by the one person that is meant to have contact with her. Joey (a woman) is meant to be the only one to have contact with the captive in order to protect the identity of the others. Even she is meant to keep her face covered when interacting with the kidnapped.

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This is where Joey makes a connection with "her captive" and pinky-swears that she will not let any of the people involved hurt her in any way.

As she is leaving the room Abigail puts the only twist in the entire movie right out in front of us when she looks at Joey and says "I'm sorry for what is about to happen to all of you."

This is when things start going horribly awry for the kidnappers and one thing that kind of irked me is the fact that this group of people are meant to be the best in the business... hardcore professionals of crime... yet as soon as they are given the opportunity to get some alcohol, half of them get totally hammered. This seems to be the opposite of how actual career criminals would behave and doesn't add credibility to them being the actual best at what they do. It also serves as a fantastic way for the director to completely waste around 30 minutes of the screen-time on completely useless dialogue and I nearly turned the film off at this point. The character development wasn't really necessary especially since it become evident from a certain point that all of the characters in the cast are going to be killed off one by one until we are left with just one that remains. It is no mystery about who that one character is going to be based solely on how much screentime they get up to the point when the gore begins.

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The action and CGI gore scenes are extremely well done and I would imagine that this is where a bulk of the film's $28 million budget went.

That's all fine and dandy, but when the story gets to the point where we have the final showdown it isn't a surprise at all. They telegraphed the formula way too hard. Therefore the only thing we really have to look forward to is gore and guts. The final showdown is completely impractical because older vampires, regardless of their size, are meant to be much more accomplished at killing than new ones. In the final battle we have a guy who has only been a vampire for 15 minutes going toe-to-toe with one that has been a vampire for many many years. This goes against everything in vampire lore that has ever existed and doesn't make any sense. It's a stupid!

Should I watch it?

I'm on the fence about this one because like I said, it isn't awful but it fails in so many ways. It is targeting horror fans but then they go and make it like so many other movies that are exactly like it. They even installed some of the most irritating horror film tropes such as tripping or slipping on stuff when someone is running away from the baddies. Also, the fact that exactly nothing surprising happens, in particular if you have watched the trailer, is extra-disappointing.

Other than the very nicely done CGI gore scenes, there is really nothing special about this film at all. In my mind, it would have been better if it actually was a crime film instead of a horror film. The premise of kidnapping an ultra wealthy person's child is much better than the criminals-trapped-in-a-house-until-tomorrow-fighting-for-their-lives-fest that we are treated to. It's been done too much to be interesting anymore. Therefore, despite the fact that the apparently rigged online ratings for this are quite good, I am going to disagree with the pack and say that unless you really enjoy gore, this is going to be a no-go for most people.

_{This movie cannot be streamed for free anywhere that I can find. It can be rented on almost all major platforms such as Amazon and AppleTV+. According to unconfirmed sources it will be available to stream on Peacock, but a release date has not yet been set}