Summer Reflection #38: Wrangling Cats

Stress.

I normally deal with it well.

Parenting.

I normally deal pretty well with this too.

But today, my nerves were tested.

Smallsteps doesn't stress me out and we are lucky because she is an awesome kid. I can't take that much credit for it, but in our family, I am the bad cop. However, I am not only the bad cop, and I think that Smallsteps and I have a pretty good relationship, with lots of games between the two of us, but more importantly, hugs and kisses.

She is easy to parent.

However, today I took her and her friend into the city to play in a kids park and then for a snack at a café, and there was stress involved. The kid is a good kid and I have known her since she was three, but let's just say there are different parenting styles between our families. She is a bit more wild, a bit more adventurous in some way, but also not very aware of her surroundings. She is not quite eight, so that is not unusual, but when she is under my care, she is my responsibility. And when there are cars and roadworks, pedestrian crossings and those fucking electric scooters zipping about, while she was wandering all over the place - I had to be much more vigilant.

The real problem was though, that I couldn't talk to her to explain anything, as she only speaks Finnish and has zero experience understanding the bad Finnish I can use to communicate with adults. Finns are pretty weird in this regard, that unless someone gets the word forms correct, or the pronunciation very close, they will understand nothing at all. Only the ones who have a lot of experience speaking with foreigners are capable of the blur interpretation required to understand.

Kids don't understand much at all.

While Smallsteps can translate easily, she of course didn't want to translate parental instructions to her friend, and rightly so. This meant I had them holding hands when we walked anywhere outside the park, which had limited success, as while Smallsteps could control herself, the other one was far more catlike in her behavior.

She didn't care.

It was a fun day though for them, as they don't get to spend too much time together normally, since after daycare, they went to different schools. Yet, even though it has been two years since they split up, they still consider each other their best friends. And, I approve, because as hard as it might be to wrangle them in the city, this little girl is good for Smallsteps, encouraging her to be braver, try some new things, and have faith in herself. It was great watching them play in the park together, as Smallsteps was more outgoing, flowing more, thinking less.

She is like me and thinking too much, becomes overthinking.

I am exaggerating the stress involved of course, but it is quite challenging being responsible for someone else's child, especially when they have a different style and culture at home in the way they are expected to behave. While I am not going to impose my parenting style on other's children, I will still keep my own in their presence. It would be a lot easier and far more fun for all involved if I spoke Finnish.

But I am not smart enough for that.

Luckily, Smallsteps' friends will learn English in the next few years anyway.

Taraz
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