'Major Payne' by Nick Castle Review: Largely forgettable

After watching White Chicks the other day, I realised there were a few films by and featuring the Wayans that I had never seen. This family isn't exactly known for making the best films throughout their careers, especially in more recent years, but admittedly they have managed to make a few films that have really managed to gain a cult following, often referenced with lines or GIFs from their funny, more memorable moments. Out of curiosity regarding some of the older films I had not seen, I searched up some of their 90s films and picked one out of random. This ended up being Major Payne. To be honest, I didn't have a whole lot of optimism going into this film, and I'm not quite sure what it was that had me feeling it, perhaps it was the sudden choice I made without really looking into what the film was about. But in recent times I have wanted to push that more judgemental side of me aside and accept films of varying quality and genres. It has certainly led to some fun discoveries and not just sticking to the arthouse side of things which can equally be boring and just not that great at all times.

Though, Major Payne was a strange film. One that never really took off. Seemingly pulling ideas from more successful films but not really going anywhere else with it. Compared to White Chicks, it was a major disappointment. Major Payne didn't once manage to generate a laugh from me. It was a film that felt very forced, very uncertain of itself. Handling too many ideas at once and not really going anywhere with any of them. Even now, I can't really tell you what the film was really about. It sort of leaps from one idea to the next as it slowly crawls towards the credits, then quickly trying to tie up some sort of conclusion to justify it all. I'd say it's definitely a skip at this point in the review, with a 1 hour and 35 minute runtime, it almost felt like it went on forever. The Wayans have many films like this, however. At this point it is to be expected. Lower budget comedies with an Adam Sandler sort of appeal in regards to characters and stories. Often also void of the necessary comedic soul that keeps the audience from falling asleep.

As you can already tell, these two screenshots from the film look very similar. Largely, one of the main issues I had with the film was how repetitive the directing felt throughout the entire film. Far too many cinematic, wide perspectives of our protagonist looking angrily off screen. A tough-guy soft of approach that just grew stale rather quickly. Payne, after all, is our protagonist. A character that seems to be a natural born military killer. The film mocks the introduction to Apocalypse Now with a troubled soldier lazing around in an apartment, to which the attempts to generate laughs quickly begin. Perhaps, this mocking of the film was probably the funniest part of it, but still didn't really manage to get anything from me. Quite quickly this all changes, with our protagonist leaving active service and being tasked with training a group of youths over a summer camp sort of ordeal.

This setup has nothing wrong with it, it's one we have seen many times when it comes to comedies: a summer camp setting to which the children are mischievous and the adults are either far too serious but dumb themselves. For some reason, A Pig's Tale came to mind watching this film. Our hardened warrior has to grow familiar with this new setting, dealing with chaotic children that don't obey and have no respect for the military lifestyle he is much accustomed to. There's of course the push and pull that takes place between the protagonist and the children, but nothing quite comes from their interactions. More so, our main character speaks with such a nasal, unnecessary tone that it actually becomes very annoying quite quickly. He seems dumb, violent, and never really funny as a result. Almost quite threatening and certainly someone that shouldn't be around children. This dynamic results in its comedy falling flat. Major Payne doesn't have any real humanity to him for the vast majority of the film, and then when it calls for it, it doesn't quite fit. It pulls you along assuming some challenge will appear and give some structure and pacing to the story, but it doesn't come.

Because of this, much of the film feels more like a series of small sketches between the children and Major Payne. They're constantly trying to get one up on him, trying a few different things to little to no success. But Payne doesn't really fight back or cause any drama that adds to the humour. His character feels completely void. As one attempt ends, it seems another starts to begin. To some degree these interactions would be expected in this sort of film, the clashing of worlds that causes a challenge and drama, to which eventually results in some mutually shared and gained respect for each other as they find a common goal to pursue once discovering what they're both capable of. I have no problems with this structure that is often utilised, playing off the "call to action" style of writing. But I just wouldn't say it does it properly. It jumps between various ideas in attempt to make us feel something, from romance to the idea that people can change and find purpose at any time in life, but it feels like you could easily have this slip by you without you noticing.

The result of all of this is a largely forgettable experience. There are no moments with weight to them on any emotional level. Nothing to make you really laugh. No whacky sort of adventure between the characters. Major Payne continues to feel empty and annoying throughout, and the children he's training don't seem to have any particular qualities to them that give them impact on the story. None of them have any useful skills or ideas that results in their characters seeming useful to the story. It's as if they're just never truly neglected to us, which is strange given the film took its time to actually introduce them to us at the start. But again it does nothing with anyone. It brings in the idea of romance, tries a few jokes, and relies far too much on what's meant to be a cartoonish warrior stereotype. Due to all of this, I just don't think it's worth watching. You won't really remember anything from it. Perhaps the nasal voice or Major Payne will stick with you, annoying you and driving you mad with the odd characters decisions. Any redeemable qualities? Well, it could've been shot far worse than it is. But it isn't anything to write home about either. Repetitive, lost in what story it wants to tell, and annoying.

Would I say it's a bad film? Not entirely. If anything, I'd say it is just painfully mediocre. Hopefully the offers next will be better.